poetry from a lot of different stages of my life…some of it is graphic, but i always write poetry out of strong emotion.
After my divorce from my husband I wrote a poem of how horrible my life had been and how God was washing all the negative things away. There is strong wording in this poem but really I would not change it. My feelings were real and raw and know that God has allowed me to grow in such a way that I am free from the pain, humiliation and bitterness I once had. This is how my Father set me free from sexual abuse in my marriage.
Blood Washed
Tossed upon the bed unnaturally,
the devil crawls upon me.
He grabs my pale legs and forces himself inside.
I am dying.
Sheets wet with tears,
fabric entwined with clenched fists.
Marriage, sacrifice in other words…I hate it.
Is it an obligation to be raped by a heartless bastard?
God, where are you?
Blood drips from the pierced hands and I am saved.
So many feelings invade the emptiness.
Bad feelings…indescribable.
I lay there docile, unable to move.
Tears sting my cheeks and swiftly run down into my knotted hair.
Other drops scatter upon the sheets.
My mind detaches, I visualize the tears dancing about my face
They become bigger than the pain I feel, they are surreal.
The beast penetrates, he stretches me;
Evil is what he is and he is within me.
Jesus, please….I plead.
Blood drips from the crown
I am unmarked.
The bitch does his thing on me,
I feel shit on.
I cry in the dark.
My verbal defense is barely audible.
Sobbing and begging echo in my mind,
for all that is heard is angry and self-gratifying grunts.
Hurt blocks my throat, despair closes my mind and I am fading.
My heart is powerful and alive as it is being murdered.
I am used.
God, please help me now.
The cross punctures the ground and flesh is torn.
His blood flows over me and washes me clean.
I am a beauty in white flowing gauze, unmarked.
May 2006. Liz A.
Comments
wow! awesome.